Hi, I thought you may get a kick out of this skit I wrote for our women's group at Paisley UMC.
Heart to Heart
Skit
(Toni enters walking heel to toe, arms wide, as if walking on a tightrope, carrying an umbrella in one hand for balance. Loses balance briefly, reverses direction on tip toes, notices audience)
Toni: Oh, Hi. (Looses balance briefly) I suppose you’re wondering what I’m doing up here. Well, this is kind of what a United Methodist woman looks like to the rest of the congregation. Oh, not that we look like circus performers to them, but they’re wondering what could possibly motivate us to be involved in so many different things. You know, its kind of like they’re wondering if we’re for real and waiting to see if we lose our balance (loses balance briefly) and fall.
And then, since appearances can sometimes be deceiving, there’s some people who think we’re just a social group. They think we just get together to eat donuts and spread gossip. It’s a lot easier to ignore us if we look silly and insignificant -. So, we have to be very careful… and stay on our toes, if you know what I mean. (teeters again briefly). You see, in reality, we are very involved in all kinds of mission work. We share our funds and ourselves with needy women and children all over the world. We also help those in need right here in our own community too. Sometimes it’s a lot to deal with. We try to balance, (turn heel to toe again, pretending to walk the tight-rope) love of God, love of family, love of neighbor and love of self, all at once and still try to be attractive to women out there that have yet to join us. We need all the help we can get! When you get right down to it….It’s all about love!
(Joann, Phylis and Lois come up front and join Toni., Lois gives Toni her sign and stands next to Toni’s right, then Phylis, then Joann)
Joann: Hi Toni. I was listening to you talking to everyone. (Turn toward Phylis) So, what do you think Phylis? What exactly is love?
Phylis: Excuse me?
Joann: I said, what is love?
Phylis: How about this? Is this love? (Points to Toni and Lois who turn to speak)
Lois: (To Toni) I love your new necklace.
Toni: Thank you and I love your shoes.
Lois: (Looks down at her shoes as she smiles…then back at Toni)
Don’t you just love this beautiful weather?
All: Yeah, I just love this weather. (All turn around and wait a minute, then)
(Joann and Phylis Turn back)
Joann: No, that can’t be love. Its just talk.
Phylis: Well, then, maybe this is love. (Points to Toni & Lois as they turn back around)
Toni: I just love David! (Place hand over heart and flutter it)
Lois: Oh and he just loves you too! I’ll bet he proposes soon!
Toni & Lois: (Sigh aloud and turn around.)
Phylis: Well, all that talking about it could be love. But, it could be just talk too.
Joann: How do we know the real difference?
(Lois and Toni turn back around)
Toni: David asked me if I knew how he knew that he loved me.
Lois: And what did you say?
Toni: (Smiling dreamily, speaking coyly) I said, no I don’t know. Why don’t you tell me?
And then (Smile big and roll your eyes) He said,… because I feel it in my heart.” And he patted his chest just like this…(Put hand to heart again and flutter it)
(Toni and Lois sigh aloud again and turn away.)
Phylis: Well maybe he was just in a good mood. Maybe Toni made him something extra special for dinner that tasted so good that… I don’t know… Maybe he just lost his head! He may not feel the same tomorrow, you know.
Joann: I know! Now here’s how we can be really sure its love. (Points to Lois and Toni as they turn back again.)
Toni: Well, now I know David really does love me.
Lois: You do! How?
Toni; He showed me. He bought me this engagement ring, knelled down and asked me to marry him.
Lois: Oh, that’s just wonderful! (Then they sigh together but stay facing front.)
Phylis: So…. (Snaps fingers.) (Excited) I’ve got it! Love is not something you say. It’s not even something you feel. It’s something you do!
Joann: That’s it. We’ve finally got it!
(Ruth comes up front with tray and four cups of water.)
Ruth: Hey girls, I knew you were in here working on your United Methodist Skit. I thought you’d probably be thirsty by now, so I just brought you a little drink to quench your thirst..
Joann: Wow, that’s so nice of you. (To audience with hand cupping mouth as if revealing a secret.) Now, that’s love!
(Everyone one sips, smiles, pats each other on the back and then they all walk off.)
Heart to Heart
Skit
(Toni enters walking heel to toe, arms wide, as if walking on a tightrope, carrying an umbrella in one hand for balance. Loses balance briefly, reverses direction on tip toes, notices audience)
Toni: Oh, Hi. (Looses balance briefly) I suppose you’re wondering what I’m doing up here. Well, this is kind of what a United Methodist woman looks like to the rest of the congregation. Oh, not that we look like circus performers to them, but they’re wondering what could possibly motivate us to be involved in so many different things. You know, its kind of like they’re wondering if we’re for real and waiting to see if we lose our balance (loses balance briefly) and fall.
And then, since appearances can sometimes be deceiving, there’s some people who think we’re just a social group. They think we just get together to eat donuts and spread gossip. It’s a lot easier to ignore us if we look silly and insignificant -. So, we have to be very careful… and stay on our toes, if you know what I mean. (teeters again briefly). You see, in reality, we are very involved in all kinds of mission work. We share our funds and ourselves with needy women and children all over the world. We also help those in need right here in our own community too. Sometimes it’s a lot to deal with. We try to balance, (turn heel to toe again, pretending to walk the tight-rope) love of God, love of family, love of neighbor and love of self, all at once and still try to be attractive to women out there that have yet to join us. We need all the help we can get! When you get right down to it….It’s all about love!
(Joann, Phylis and Lois come up front and join Toni., Lois gives Toni her sign and stands next to Toni’s right, then Phylis, then Joann)
Joann: Hi Toni. I was listening to you talking to everyone. (Turn toward Phylis) So, what do you think Phylis? What exactly is love?
Phylis: Excuse me?
Joann: I said, what is love?
Phylis: How about this? Is this love? (Points to Toni and Lois who turn to speak)
Lois: (To Toni) I love your new necklace.
Toni: Thank you and I love your shoes.
Lois: (Looks down at her shoes as she smiles…then back at Toni)
Don’t you just love this beautiful weather?
All: Yeah, I just love this weather. (All turn around and wait a minute, then)
(Joann and Phylis Turn back)
Joann: No, that can’t be love. Its just talk.
Phylis: Well, then, maybe this is love. (Points to Toni & Lois as they turn back around)
Toni: I just love David! (Place hand over heart and flutter it)
Lois: Oh and he just loves you too! I’ll bet he proposes soon!
Toni & Lois: (Sigh aloud and turn around.)
Phylis: Well, all that talking about it could be love. But, it could be just talk too.
Joann: How do we know the real difference?
(Lois and Toni turn back around)
Toni: David asked me if I knew how he knew that he loved me.
Lois: And what did you say?
Toni: (Smiling dreamily, speaking coyly) I said, no I don’t know. Why don’t you tell me?
And then (Smile big and roll your eyes) He said,… because I feel it in my heart.” And he patted his chest just like this…(Put hand to heart again and flutter it)
(Toni and Lois sigh aloud again and turn away.)
Phylis: Well maybe he was just in a good mood. Maybe Toni made him something extra special for dinner that tasted so good that… I don’t know… Maybe he just lost his head! He may not feel the same tomorrow, you know.
Joann: I know! Now here’s how we can be really sure its love. (Points to Lois and Toni as they turn back again.)
Toni: Well, now I know David really does love me.
Lois: You do! How?
Toni; He showed me. He bought me this engagement ring, knelled down and asked me to marry him.
Lois: Oh, that’s just wonderful! (Then they sigh together but stay facing front.)
Phylis: So…. (Snaps fingers.) (Excited) I’ve got it! Love is not something you say. It’s not even something you feel. It’s something you do!
Joann: That’s it. We’ve finally got it!
(Ruth comes up front with tray and four cups of water.)
Ruth: Hey girls, I knew you were in here working on your United Methodist Skit. I thought you’d probably be thirsty by now, so I just brought you a little drink to quench your thirst..
Joann: Wow, that’s so nice of you. (To audience with hand cupping mouth as if revealing a secret.) Now, that’s love!
(Everyone one sips, smiles, pats each other on the back and then they all walk off.)
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